Whether someone is going through a divorce or a breakup with children involved, it is often a difficult situation for both the parents and the children. Our family law attorneys understand these trying times and have navigated through these unique situations. Sometimes, even if it’s difficult to cooperate with the other parent, sharing joint custody can be best for the children. To help ease some common child custody issues, our attorneys have put together a few suggestions to make joint custody less troubling.
Think about the children
Once people have children, they often put the child before any of their personal needs and wants. It should be the same when separating and deciding what is best for your children. Separations, whether mutual or one-sided, often creates animosity between parents. But while you may not get along with your former partner, your child still loves and respects both of their parents. The younger the children are, the more difficult it is for them to understand why the two people they love the most in the world cannot or will not, get along. Setting aside your personal feelings and focusing on your child’s needs and wants is vital to a happy, healthy child.
Do not share your issues with your children
Children, young or older, are not suitable or capable of resolving or participating in any issues between parents. Becoming exposed to such issues can create a very traumatic experience for them. The issues and concerns you have may stem from issues or concerns raised by your children, but as judges often remind the parents, it is the parents, not the children, who make decisions and if the parents cannot, the courts will. As a general rule, do not bring up child support problems, do not bad mouth the other parents, or discuss money issues. Children are only young once and deserve a happy and healthy childhood.
Compromise with the other parent
As much as we all would like to get our way all the time, as we teach our children, you don’t always get what you want. Parents must be willing to compromise when working on a custody agreement. Our family law attorneys have extensive experience in coming up with unique and tailored arrangements, that accommodate the particular circumstances of your family. Remembering that compromising does mean you are giving up, giving in, or losing, it means that everyone is being flexible for the best outcome of your child.
Put your emotions aside
More times than not, when people separate from a partner, it is for reasons that are not always good. Maybe they could not live with the other person; maybe there was an affair, or the arguing would not stop. No matter the reason, adults who have a child together should be able to push aside personal feelings about the children’s other parent in order to think clearly. Remember, the child comes first no matter what.
Cases concerning child custody can be daunting and never something anyone asks for, but our family law attorneys can help create a plan for your unique family. If you have found yourself in a custody situation and need legal guidance, do not hesitate to set up a consultation with Handelin Law. For any questions, you may call us at 775.882.8032.